CALM

This past Tuesday Corey called early evening to relay the events of his day. When asked the previous day to go work with the crew he hadn’t any idea where they’d be going, but was eager to get away from the Camp for a day and looked forward to doing some community work. This day they were driven all the way up to a place called CALM….California Living Museum. Apparently about an hours drive from the Camp, I dicovered CALM lies half an hour north east of Bakersfield, close to Lake Ming. I hadn’t been aware Bakersfield even had such a plant and wildlife reserve (a “zoo” of sorts) so was very interested in hearing all about it. I also quickly “googled” it and the Overview described CALM as “ You haven't been to a zoo until you've visited the California Living Museum! CALM is California’s premier native zoo and botanic garden focusing exclusively on native animals and plants. Nestled on 13 acres in the foothills of Bakersfield, a visit to CALM will give you a glimpse of the diversity of our golden state. CALM's collection includes a variety of animals from reptiles to black bears and birds of prey to Gizmo, the squirrel who was used as a model for "Hammy" in the popular DreamWorks movie "Over the Hedge."

You can learn more about CALM by visiting their website at http://www.calmzoo.org/

Corey described his day as ‘AMAZING!”. He told me this day was the first time on such a trip away from the Camp that he actually felt himself relax and experience what “freedom” really felt like, and he relished the mixed feelings of excitement and "calm". He was tasked with helping in the repairs of the duck pond that had been underway for some time apparently, but that they were able to finish up once and for all, giving him a sense of accomplishment. Aside from other, smaller tasks, cleanup and small repairs, he was entrusted with being “free” to wander around the property pretty much at will. Amidst the other ‘zoo‘ visitors, he felt comfortable and at ease, and was happy for these feelings.

There was a moment, in the course of his day, that somewhat removed the "blush" off his rose. He found himself standing outside the fence from a mountain lion, as he watched the big cat seemed intent on something off in the distance...walking up to the fence that imprisoned him, he slowly, gently, lifted a front paw to rest on the fence. After a few moments he removed his paw and slowly retreated to lay further back in the lair. Corey felt an immense sadness, fully understanding, the knowing, the intense, unequivocal reminding of the loss of ones freedom. He told me he, like most of us, had never spent a lot of time considering the appropriateness of zoo's in the past, and wonders at our willingness, eagerness even, as a civilized society, to confine other species, as well as our own, without much consideration to the act itself or the consequences to society. Todays prison industrial complex can easily be seen as a massive system of zoo's for the human species. Most see the surface...and not the suffering. There is of course a need for dealing with those who break our nations laws, but this system now in place has been taken over by mass elements of greed, of foxes minding the hen house. It is no longer a system where the time should fit the crime, but rather "the longer the time, the greater the profits!". Ka ching...

Again, I digress...I start writing and before long I'm back on my platform!

There comes for most, if you have been separated from society for many years, as many prisoners are (my son has been interred for 7 full years now, as a non-violent, first time offender, for anyone just now tuning in) a time you begin to realize there will be a period of adjustment, that many things in your 'makeup' have changed. The longer the sentence, the longer you are away from the real world, the greater the extent of “institutionalization” and the longer it can take to “fit in” again. The longer you have been deprived of making all and any choices in regard to your own personal life, the more difficult it is to take responsibility for doing so once again. For every man this experience differs and is personal and unique, and in accordance to the support he has waiting on the other side of the “walls”.

The first time Corey was “allowed” to leave the Camp was on a furlough leave the day his dad underwent a risky, and lengthy surgical procedure, just this last October. He had been incarcerated for 6 ½ years at that time. He was grateful, as were we all, that he was approved leave to be at his fathers side, offering support to his brother and I as well, during that long and stressful day. The following day he expressed to me how happy and relieved he’d been to be there with us all, but that, much to his surprise, he had felt oddly out of place, and experienced quite a bit of anxiety. He related how it wasn’t until he was back at the Camp later that day, that he felt the defining stress dissolve.

But not so this day. Suffice it to say, Corey evidently experienced few if any, of these feelings his day at CALM (how ironic is that). Listening to him describe his day, I knew Corey was surprised and exuberant to realize that any concerns or worries he has harbored, as to his "place" in the world, and of taking hold of his life with both hands again, are but considerations that will be replaced by the opportunities he is willing to embrace.

Interesting how this particular outing, to a place innocuously named “CALM” delivered this enlightening message.

I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship. ~Louisa May Alcott