STUFF

This morning I’m drinking my first cup of joe (I always have at least two to start my day) and looking around me at an almost empty house. Its overcast and coolish (65 degrees) outside and leaves and twigs are floating in the pool that was pristine just two days ago. One of Bakersfields common dusty, dirty windstorms blew through here all day and all nite yesterday so I’ve yard cleanup to add to my To Do list today. No worries, at least it will be a cool day, a nice break from last weeks 100 degree days. So hot, SO early in the year it seems.

Back to my empty house….. I had worried by the time we finished packing and moving out, the last memories I’d have of this house would be of these empty rooms, now devoid of personality and warmth. But as I sit here, and its funny in a way how the brain works, as I look at the empty spaces surrounding me, I still see them furnished with whatever filled that particular space, the images still clear in my mind of ‘the way they were’ and I’m content that those are the images that will stay with me.

After two weeks now of continuous boxing up, loading into our trailor, hauling to our storage unit, unloading once there and stacking everything as orderly as we can, filling every available space, we still have those remaining items we’ll need until our last day here in the house, before we hand over the keys to the new owners. Small boxes of personal items still clutter the bathrooms, there are a few cooking and eating utensils, and we are slowly emptying out the refrigerator of all edible items.

For the first time in these moves the past few years (and there has been a lot of ‘moving’ since our lives took an abrupt turn back in 2004!) I experienced feelings of depression brought about I know by utter exhaustion! I would find myself standing in a room, unable to simply decide if I’d need this or that in the next weeks time, should I keep or toss…I would find myself unable to make a decision. I worried if it turned out I would need it, where the hell would I ever find it, in the milieu of boxes stacked to the ceiling in the storage units!! In those moments I would be rendered completely useless! The panic would become palpable! Perhaps I’m just getting too old for these uprootings, physically and emotionally. I’ve also been forced to realize I’m not as strong or fit physically as I was when we first left Washington over 9 years ago now. That is frustrating, and a wake up call!! This time around I find I can’t as easily lift and stack heavy items that ten years ago didn’t even give me pause! Note to self: get back on my SOLOFLEX!! The walking alone is not cutting it!! I knew this of course, I just got lazy!

Trip after trip after trip to our storage units was when I realized we (I) had allowed ourselves/myself to be too encumbered by our possessions! Thinking it over I realized there was really NOTHING in these material possession we could NOT do without! It was all dispensible! Everything that matters, and by that I mean life sustaining (including emotionally) we will always have, or find a way to get! It is time to let go of all the STUFF that just takes up space! Simplify! Now, to just remember these good intentions once we find ourselves moving into another new home back in Washington! Ha!

I know we aren’t alone in our “consumerism”, it’s a problem with Americans in general. Information abounds that illustrates how we went from a mighty nation of manufacturers/exporters to a nation of importers/consumers. Our television sets bombard us with constant commercials to buy, buy and buy more. That only with this or that product will we be happy, fulfilled, will our lives be easier, free us from cares and enable us to enjoy our lives better than ever before.

AND so, with eyes newly opened, the cobwebs clearing, and 3 storage units stuffed to the brim, I look forward to beginning anew, in a fresh new SPACE.

"You can never get enough of what you don't need to make you happy". ~Eric Hoffer