Christmas 2011

Hard to believe it's Christmas again! I keep saying it, but its true, I just don't know where the past year went! I have to say though, I'm eager to get into 2012, and I especially look forward to Christmas 2012 knowing it will be the last Christmas this family will have to spend it in a prison visitation room. At some point in 2013 my son will be released, that day cannot come soon enough.

We had expected to spend our Christmas day with Corey at Taft Camp, whiling the day away in the visitation room, chatting and laughing, enjoying being together on this special of all days, feasting on vending machine sandwiches or the ever present chicken wings or single serving pizza's, washing it all down with bottled sodas or water, yum, what could be a better holiday feast, right? Well such is not to be the case. Two days ago, and much to our bitter disappointment, Corey learned this year the prison administration is not going to allow the standard "free" (of points) visitation for Christmas day. Points WILL be charged the inmate to visit that day. HAD they let the inmates know this going into the month we would have budgeted the points so as to leave enough to visit Christmas day. But they did not. The staff actually got the word out, early in the month, that not only was Christmas Day going to be a "free" day, but the monday after it would be as well, as the holiday fell on sunday this year. We were all pretty excited. In light of this earlier, happy news, the new love interest in our sons life made sure to visit Corey several weekends this month, prior to having to fly home to spend Christmas with her family. But we had no worries, Christmas day was going to be 'free', right? Like always.

Not! As I said, there ARE now no remaining points, ergo no visit will be possible. And this was only the beginning of the disappointments, the facility seems bent on making this an especially "bahumbug" christmas for the men, either because this facility is cutting back due to the sluggish economy (though the private prison industry seems to be thriving and awash in profits more so now than ever!) or just "because they can" (being excempt from certain protocals of the BOP), who really knows. Perhaps the recent changes can be attributed to the new Warden this year, and the firing of the Camp Warden, a woman who exhibited thinking "outside the box" and seemed not only professional, but fair and humane to the men she was charged with supervising. Again, who knows, all conjecture on my part, all we know is that in past years the men (the prisoners) were encouraged to celebrate this season of "goodwill to all men", with fun contests and a few specialty food items not available at any other time. Each prisoner would receive a bottle of chocolate milk and eggnog, small in scope but so many looked forward to these "little luxury" items all year long believe it or not. And contests were held such as decorating their units, best theme and decorations would win a "goody bag" (assortment of cookies and candy bars for the winners). Coreys unit won last year, having extensively decorated their unit with a New York theme, complete with deli and 7/11 store (with an East Indian inmate working behind the counter, all good fun!). These small efforts and gestures to increase morale were welcome indeed, at an especially difficult time for anyone separated from loved ones, living confined and apart, over Christmas. And in case anyone is wondering, the prison does not pay for any of these prizes, they are paid for from an Inmate Fund, a fund that the inmates themselves contribute to for these types of things. How that money IS being spent this year is anyones guess.

It seems NONE of these things are forthcoming this Christmas season at Taft prison. Christmas dinner itself will be regular fare, no turkey this year (though "processed", sliced turkey was always served in the past, it was accompanied by stuffing and some other seasonal "side" and a small slice of pumpkin pie). The Christmas meal it seems will be chicken for lunch, and a brown bagged meal (sandwiches) for dinner.

I remind myself this is our last Christmas at this particular facility, thats what allows me to move past the sadness of this moment. Corey will be transferred in late spring to another prison, where he will enter the RDAP, the Residential Drug and Alcohol Program. Not that greener pastures await, what may be "better" at another prison will always be offset by something "worse" than at the previous prison. But change is always good, and the move and time of adjustment into the new prison seems to make the time go faster, which is always good.

I can't say I'll miss that vending machine meal we'd be having on Christmas day but I will sorely miss my sons company and the hugs (the one allowed at the beginning of the visit and the one at the end). Knowing he resides just a stones throw away, yet it may as well be a thousand miles, makes me sad but yet somehow does still bring comfort. And as we eagerly await the first day of 2012, the light at the end of this tunnel gets bigger and brighter than ever as we close on the distance. That is the saving grace this Christmas.

Whatever else be lost among the years,
Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing;
Whatever doubts assail us, or what fears,
Let us hold close one day, remembering
Its poignant meaning for the hearts of men.
Let us get back our childlike faith again.
~Grace Noll Crowell